Josh, Mandi, M'Tali, Dallin, Dakoda, Logan, & Easton: Mom's Christmas

Monday, January 10, 2011

Mom's Christmas

This is the second Christmas without mom here, and it wasn't any easier this year then it was last year. We love to be able to include her in on all the celebrations. We love that we all live so close and can bring Christmas to her. Mom's most favorite holiday was Christmas, she always made it so special for all of us, so of course we try to make it just as special for her. Christmas Eve we took the kids up and they each put a luminary on her grave. We miss her SO much and we wish that she was here to celebrate with us.

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BEFORE I WAS A MOM!!!

Before I was a mom..I cooked and ate hot meals, I wore unstained clothing, brushed my hair and teeth everyday, and I had quiet conversations on the phone. Before I was a mom..My house stayed clean for days after I cleaned it, I didn't worry if my plants were poisonous, and I never tripped over toys, color book, or piles of shoes. Before I was a mom.. I have never been puked on, pooped on, drooled on, chewed on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers. I Had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I always got a full night's sleep. Before I was a mom.. I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do test or give shots. I Never looked into teary eyes and cried. I Never felt my heart brake into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. Before I was a mom.. I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down. I never felt gloriously happy over a simple grin, and I never knew that I could love someone so much. Before I was a mom.. I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby, and I didn't know that bond between Mother and her child. Before I was a mom.. I didn't know someone so small could make me feel so important. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, and the happiness of being a mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much... Before I was a Mom.